F*ck Speed Bumps

Is there anything more universally annoying than speed bumps? I think even aliens visiting Earth for the first time would quickly come to loathe these things (not that their flying saucers wouldn't just hover right over them. Alas, I digress).

What exactly is the point of them anyway? Yes, they make you slow down, but only for 10 feet at a time. For people like me, a speed bump means you floor it and go as fast as you can for 50 yards, then slam on the brakes until your front tires hit the bump, then floor it again.

They're probably kept around by the powerful car dealership lobby. They just want people to blow out their suspension, drop a transmission or accidentally deploy an airbag, as they run over one inadvertently. This then results in expensive repairs they can rape you up the ass on.

I know snow plow drivers hate them. Imagine their surprise when their plow hits one of those things! With any luck, the plow will rip the fucking thing right out.

The only good thing about speed bumps, is that sometimes they're referred to as "speed humps." There's nothing like a big "SPEED HUMP AHEAD" sign to make me chuckle and brighten my day.